Lone Drinker: Vice Presidential Debate Edition

Sarah Palin is the culmination of everything there is to love about American politics. As the country has fallen deeper and deeper into the abyss I've learned to stop worrying and love the con. There's little doubt in my mind that a McCain/Palin administration would be bad for the country but at this point I'm almost rooting for them to win as it would certainly be America's greatest reality show.

Tonight's debate should be gangbusters and as such I thought a Lone Drinker was in order. Accompanied only by a magnum of La Monica Montepulciano, my computer, dog and television, I will attempt to discern what kills the most brain cells: the wine or listening to Sarah Palin and Joe Biden. 100 dead brain cells for each glass of wine, 100 for each dumb thing Palin says and 200 for each dumb thing Biden says (the glass ceiling still exists in this game).

8:18: Peggy Noonan is on the Daily Show, she's graceful and genuine. I used to think that was absolutely true but this video has completely blurred my understanding of her. It seems like everyone in the public limelight is filled with bullshit up to their talking heads. Glass one.

8:29: Just saw a commercial for the new Edward Norton vehicle (I've been watching Entourage lately) Pride and Glory, looks pretty good or perhaps terrible, can't tell.

8:54: Just had a pre-debate smoke to settle my nerves, I'm so excited I can barely control myself. On glass three.

8:57: I'm watching the debate on PBS. I like to support PBS by watching it even though the numbers mean nothing to their bottom line, 100 dead brain cells for my own stupidity. Also I must mention I ran 7.5 miles today so my extremities aren't working very well, this could come into play in later updates.

9:00: Gwen Ifill's moderating which pisses me off. She has a book coming out about the rise of Black politicians in America set to come out on inauguration day. I generally like Ifill but she has a financial interest in Obama winning and regardless of her bias or lack there of, the appearance of impropriety will give the 'pubs an out if Palin bombs.

9:03: Palin looks hot, Biden just coughed before the first question, this is gonna be great!

9:04: Biden blames deregulation for the failure of Wall St. Delaware has some of the most lax tax laws in the country hence the multitude of corporations who have their headquarters there. Biden 200 brain cells.

9:05: Palin comes out storming with "talk with a parent at their kids soccer game" in distress over the economy. She's been heavily prepped and is showing it, 100 brain cells.

9:09: I hate this maverick shit, Ifill properly calls Biden and Palin on not answering the question posed to them.

9:10: "Hockey mom's, Joe Six Pack," she's a fucking tape recorder, 200 brain cells.

9:13: That's the second time Palin has waved while talking about average or middle American families, that's preposterous, 300 brain cells.

9:14: "I may not answer the questions that you or the moderator want to hear," Jesus, 400 brain cells.

9:17: She waved again, what the fuck? Fuck it, people are probably eating this shit up.

9:20: Palin's waved 3 times but Biden's now pointed at us twice, um who the hell preps these idiots.

9:22: "We cannot slow up on education," good work Joe, 400 brain cells. I'm gonna have to start drinking faster if I want to keep up.

9:26: Opposing windfall profits tax isn't the same as giving a tax cut, sorry Joe, 600 brain cells.

9:27: Palin is butchering a question that I don't even know what it was, she got off topic somehow, yikes, 500 brain cells. Glass five.

9:28: Biden might have just done something genius. Um, no, he tried to and the idea was genius, he brought up the idea of allowing home owners to stay in their homes and adjusting not just their interest but the principle they owe - not sure if I agree with that policy but what he did was say that he's not sure if McCain or Palin agree with that, Ifill then tried to press Palin but she slipped out of it. To any discerning viewer she's essentially reading note cards to most people she's probably nailing it.

9:33: Biden's stumbling over his words like the drunk I suspect he is. Normally I wouldn't hammer a guy for that, considering this post and many like it before is dedicated to real time alcohol consumption, but he is in the midst of a Veep debate, put down the Jameson Biden.

9:35: "Nucular" holy shit, not again. Palin, 600 brain cells.

9:36: Watching Palin write notes is hysterical. If she's talking from her own notes my dog is multilingual.

9:39: Palin is definitely scoring points with the Iraq talk. No doubt they're not her points but points non the less. Unless of course she's spent the last month thinking about Iraq exclusively after she said she hadn't thought about it, and somehow acquired the ability of analytical thinking.

9:42: How are we spending 10 billion dollars a month in Iraq when they have an 87 billion dollar surplus. Why isn't the new government of Iraq paying for our troops? We put them there for fucks sake.

9:44: Biden pointed at me again, I'd like to brake his finger. I've said this before but he reminds me of the creepy uncle at family reunions who's a little to interested in your female cousins.

9:45: Ifill's doing a great job btw.

9:47: "Nucular" twice, this word is not that fucking hard to pronounce. 800 dead brain cells that feel like victims of rape and incest.

9:52: Joe Biden just referred to himself in the third person, 800 dead brain cells, this is turning out to be quite a match. Glass six.

9:56: Is it supposed to be cool and "American" to say nuclear wrong? What the fuck is going on, why has this country become so retarded?

10:00: Biden just audibly sighed, that's a huge mistake. 1,000 dead brain cells.

10:03: "It's so obvious I'm a Washington outsider," I was a bigger fan when she was her own retard. Glass seven, I want a cigarette, I can't keep up with these morons.

10:08: How would your presidential policy differ from the president's if they were to pass away: "I would carry out Barack's policies" good work again Joe. You're the same exact person, that's bold.

10:09: Fuck the brain cells idea, we're all dumber for this despite of our alcohol consumption. If a student were to respond to any of these questions from a teacher they'd be lampooned. Please vote for Bob Barr, the politics of this country are fucked and it doesn't really matter who's doing the fucking.

10:12: Honestly Sarah Palin has been willing to completely fore go her own opinions in order to accept the Vice Presidential opportunity. She's hasn't expressed a single opinion that she had discussed in interviews prior to this debate. I really hate everyone involved in this campaign but she seems particularly deplorable.

10:16: They shouldn't allow talking points in presidential or veep debates. If candidates want to take notes that's fine but they shouldn't be allowed to bring anything along. If they need anything then whomever writes it should be the candidate not the individual.

10:21: My interpretation of the republican advisers to Sarah Palin over the last 3 days: "Sarah, if you don't know what to say, bang out a couple "Mavericks" and "Ya'll's" "Change" and "average people".

10:23: Biden's pouncing on the Maverick thing, interesting, I wonder if this will play. Glass eight.

10:27: Honestly, I don't like Biden, he's a cheater, cheated in law school, plagiarized a speech while running for president but at least he's attempting to answer the questions posed to him. Palin's just regurgitating platitudes and reciting lines fed to her, I doubt she'll be in very many off the cuff interviews from here on out.

10:31: Biden's blathering on after Palin just blathered on, I'll be back after some reflection.

Motes '08

My dog's nickname is The Motes. My dog should be the next president of the United States.





Motes '08. True vision for the future.

Rule of thumb for modern living:

If your friend wears a pink shirt the same day you wear a pink shirt don't be friends for that day, not forever, but for that day.





I came across those two gentlemen on the j train this morning at Bowery. Fortunately they got off at Broad St. because I was prepared to follow them anywhere in order to take that picture.


Vegas this weekend, YFBFB has returned.

Dylan at Prospect Park

The twilight of Bob Dylan’s career would be better served if he was less like a rolling stone and more like a Rolling Stone. As Martin Scorsese’s recent Shine a Light documentary proved (and from what I’ve heard all of their concerts still prove) the Stones have been around for a long, long year but haven’t really lost a step. The same cannot be said for Mr. Dylan.

Last night’s show at Prospect Park was an extremely hot ticket in New York. Released in early July, YFBFB and YFBFBGF were online for a combined three hours attempting to get tickets with no luck. Fortunately YFBFBGF spent some time refreshing Craigslist yesterday until the right post showed and she pounced.

$55 a head and 5 hours later we were standing on the beer line at PP Theater waiting for a chance to pay $6 for a Budweiser. The theater is like a natural forming amphitheater with the venue gradually rising as you move further from the stage. We were quite far from the stage and couldn’t see very clearly but the rain had stopped an hour or two earlier and our spirits could not be dampened.

Dylan came out with Rainy Day Woman #12 & 35 which was neat but turned disappointing. His backing band sounded folksy and the crowd droned out much of Dylan’s singing (either that or he actually was only singing about one in every four words which is also a possibility).

After RDW #12 & 35 I headed to the port-a-potty to heed Dylan’s demands. Cops were out in force but there really wasn’t much tension in the crowd which ran the spectrum age wise but was almost entirely white.

He second song was lay, lady lay, reworked to sound like an Eagles reunion tour song. And therein lies the heart of the problem. If Dylan is going to rework his classics with the same lyrics but different music he has to actually sing the lyrics. Otherwise the effect is plain confusing.

There were a couple highlights, Masters of War was very good and Dylan seemed enthused by the song, also whenever he broke out the harmonica it seemed particularly special. All in all it was an experience to get to see Bob Dylan perform, but had a complete unknown 67 year old man played the same exact music, $55 could have purchased a lot more $6 beers.

New Blog

I'm posting here on a daily basis for the time being.

A Little Bit of Shut the Fuck Up

How much luck is required to never encounter a little bit of luck ad, ever again? However much it is I hope all New Yorkers encounter it in the near future.

Couple links:

Interesting story about Japan taking extremely aggressive steps to curb obesity that includes this line: "I don’t think the campaign will have any positive effect. Now if you did this in the United States, there would be benefits," ah America, land of the free and home of the broad.

Attempting to understand the anger people have over Budweiser being sold to a European company is really confounding. Check the comments section.

Interesting New York Magazine article about male infidelity. Although I'm perplexed as to how Weiss doesn't include an exploration of male concern for the infidelity of women at some point, seems relevent.

The article does include this gem: ""Recent analyses of genetic databases reveal that fully 10 percent of people have different biological fathers from the men they name as their fathers." Wow.

Random thoughts:

Florida is a curious mix of strip malls, trailer parks, palm trees, and tourist destinations. There is nothing else.

There's more to people raising their sunglasses to see things more clearly than simply better vision.

I don't believe in opening mail because I think it deserves its privacy.

If only we could control-f our lives.

The British: Funnier than US

I was getting a good chuckle at the first couple paragraphs of this article when I read the line "You're a public figure now, they would say." So I decided to look up who the author, Boris Johnson, is. It turns out Boris Johnson is the mayor of London and probably funnier than anyone Michael Bloomberg even knows.

It's really strange and oddly disconcerting that British pols are capable of such superior humor in public arenas that Americans.