Editors note: This is the third installment of the lone drinker. The last two statements are song lyrics, from Modest Mouse and the Beastie Boy's respectively, I don't know why I wrote them. When I returned to my computer this morning the word coarsened was up on dictionary.com. Also, my hand still hurts and I woke up on the floor this morning. To ensure authenticity, I have not edited any of this.
8:00: Welcome to the third installment of the lone drinker. Tonight’s post is being brought to you by a magnum of Sutter Home Pinot Grigio. Sutter Home: making taste buds question their day jobs since 1890. Tonight’s Pinot is a 2001 vintage which is probably more of a testament to the amount of time it’s aged on liquor store shelves than on vines.
8:18: I’ve been looking into the Church of Satan. My interest is more for networking opportunities than spiritual concerns. Regardless, it’s really not all it’s cracked up to be. I feel like the name was chosen more to rile up “squares” than for any other reason. I actually agree with a lot of their principles. Hell, the founder even said the religion is “just Ayn Rand's philosophy with ceremony and ritual added.” Plus cardinal sin number one is “stupidity” – I can get behind that.
8:33: Don’t Forget the Lyrics! is on Fox. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen the show and it is frighteningly entertaining. The format seems very similar to Who Wants to be a Millionaire. If I were a pessimist I might suggest that the evolution of reality television has (unbelievably) trended progressively dumber – this would definitely bear out that pessimist’s perspective (if I were a pessimist) (onto glass three).
8:43: I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the current contestant. He’s like a gayer Richard Simmons. It’s unreal.
8:46: Wayne Brady (the shows host, who’s been surprisingly funny) just made a Richard Simmons joke – I wish someone could confirm me beating him to the punch, such is the struggle of the lone drinker.
8:58: Richard Simmons just went out on the Roy Orbison tune Pretty Woman, I’m not making this up.
9:32: The lone drinker was temporarily interrupted by an Aunt who had seen I was in town this evening and asked if I could drive her husband to meet her. (umm, two and half glasses in)
9:45: During the car ride home I was listening to the “alternative” rock station in New York, 9.23 K-rock. They played a song by Chevelle, called Send the Pain Below, I like this song a great deal and did when it came out (apparently in 2002). It’s honestly one of the few commercial rock bands I thought had true potential over the last 5 years. I have no idea what they’ve done since.
10:35: Watching Mad Men. The jury’s still out on this show. I did notice something in the last episode that I thought was ill-conceived. At one point one of the secretaries says to the other “that sandwich is making me sad” with regards to a stay-in meal the woman was going to have at work. That sentence seems very 200- to me – not something that would be said in the 60s. I had another example of the liberties the program is taking with colloquialisms but I’m not on top of my game right now. (glass 6)
11:09: I truly believe the most frustrating thing that an individual can experience is knowing that which they can do well and not being given the opportunity to perform that task. I look forward to serving drinks. (7 drinks in)
11:20: Couple things; so I’ve been watching the “Send the Pain Below” video on youtube and maybe I’m wrong but the only part about that song that sucks is when they incorporate the snowboarding…without that, that songs a killer example of good early ought’s rock. Also, I’ve been punching the wall in my study, this is not an important idea but I’m curious where the studs are, I use to work in construction (also my hand hurts).
11:26: I’m on such a Chevelle kick I just air guitared myself into the ground on my rolley chair. I heard some sort of metallic object trickle away after my fall but the chair still works and I don’t seemed to have experienced traumatic back failure yet – so that was rockstar. (goodbye magnum)
11:54: Finished watching the episode of Mad Men I had been watching earlier. Who knows? I would never cheat on my significant other but every relationship exists on it’s own plain. I’m drunk and am not willing to indict others for behavior I would not engage in, despite my disagreeace with it.
11:57: btw I spent a bit figuring out which parts of my wall are supported by studs. My fists prove much of my wall is unexpectedly sturdy.
11:59: Much of my hands hurt.
12:14: I just watched the All These Things That I’ve Done video in the hopes of explaining the idiocy of myself and my dearest friends. I’ve failed completely. Jesus, that video’s stupid.
12:18: I haven’t made an alcohol update in awhile so I feel obligated. Magnum gone, Budweiser gone, onto a beer called Tecate, going to have a cigarette.
1:02: I’ve drank a great deal of water. There’s no beer left, I’m a magnum and two beers in, I’ve drank a great deal of vodka, I’m the olive king of New York.
1:12: Here’s an idea: every magazine I’ve ever read portrays a bullshit liberal perspective. How ‘bout a progressive magazine that isn’t all about left leaning politics. There’s obviously a market for men that have views that don’t coarsened
1:22: My idea does not disassociate liberal ideas, it just invalidates them.
1:29: My idea does not disassociate liberal ideas. But I think its funny to type that reflex.
For your sake I hope heaven and hell, are really there but I wouldn’t hold my breath, you wasted life why wouldn’t you waste death, you wasted life why wouldn’t you waste death.
12:48 – cause you can’t and you won’t and you don’t stop