Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Moment of Truth

Two weeks ago I watched with horror as a participant on the Moment of Truth on Fox destroyed her marriage, her husband's self-esteem and her own self-image. It was similar to watching Nuclear winter descend on the Southern Hemisphere. This week I've decided to do a journal of it, lets see what happens:

8:05: They've introduced the contestant, he looks like Matthew Perry with a much cheeper haircut. Apparently he's a carpenter, I don't imagine he's very Christ-like.

8:06: Q: "As a handy-man have you ever prolonged a job so you could bill more hours?" A: Yes, true, his explanation seems reasonable, bounced check, billed the extra money.

8:07: Q: "Have you ever made a wax replica of your private parts?" Yes- true, "my wife was going to bring it with her but it didn't fit in her purse" - not bad, did he come up with that on the spot? Mom: "I don't know him" she's going to become progressively more annoying.

8:08: Q: "Have you ever felt that your wife is excessively jealous of other women?" A: Yes - true. I have a feeling that this may be problematic going forward.

8:09: Q: "Has your wife Amy, ever said something that hurt you so much it made you cry?" Yes - true. Pussy.

8:10: Q: "Would you say your wife is the most attractive woman you've ever dated?" No - true. The audience applause after embarrassing correct answers is fascinating. They must be cued by signs right?

8:12 Q: "Since you've had children have you lost any of your sexual attraction to your wife?"

Commercial Break

They prep the t.v. audience for moments later in the show prior to each commercial break. We already know that two of the questions are "have you ever had sex with one of your wife's sisters" and "have you ever had sex with any of your friends wives". Also apparently Chandler's estranged father is going to make an appearance later in the show.

8:15 The show has returned, the slimy show host repeats the question. Answer: No - true.

8:17 Onto level two. For $25,000 Q: "Are you sexually attracted to any of your wife's sisters? Yes - true. One of the sisters is sitting right next to the wife, she's not bad looking and apparently there are 5 sisters in the family.

New revelation, he's dated the sister and another of the sisters, you can't blame the guy for answering that question in the affirmative. Further, what kind of bumblefuck town do they find these people in that he's dated 3 of 5 sisters in one family?

8:19: Q: "Have you ever lied to your parents about your religious belief" Yes - true. Is there anyone for whom that answer isn't true? Also this guy was raised Mormon, who the hell with any degree of analytical thought could believe in Mormanism? - Also that answers the question as to where they find these people.

8:21 Q: "Do you think your father worked hard enough to provide for your family?" No- true, as his mother cries. Yfbfb question: "Do you think you're a big enough asshole to destroy your entire family?

8:22 Q: "When visiting your Father do you think your step-mother intentionally does things to make you feel unwelcome?" Yes - true. Any child of a step-parent would have no problem answering in the affirmative if they felt this way. None.

8:24: The slimy host calls out the father, Chuck (of course), to ask the question. The father reminds me of an out of shape version of the father from American Beauty. Q: "Despite the life you've lead, do you think I still love you?"

Commercial Break

This question is inherently flawed. First, I wonder if the father put in the qualifier "despite the life you've lead" and second, by him being there, Chandler can assume that he still love's him, this may be warped logic but it doesn't matter if it's not true in reality, it only matters that it's true in his mind.

8:29: It's annoying how they repeat the last minute after every commercial break.

8:30: A: Yes - true. This guy seems like a tool btw, he seems like he's hamming up the dramatic effect for the show. The product of an asshole father. They embrace and his father says that he's proud of his son. My parents have always dreamed of me making it big on reality television. I've done nothing but disappoint.

8:32: He's just won $25,000, but nothing's locked, he can lose it all at any point.

8:33: They cut to a commercial break, teasing with the same three questions they've teased the last two commercial breaks to. This show is taking a short-term approach to a potentially long running show. It's really compelling content wise despite its trashy side, but it's not nearly as rewarding of a viewing experience as it should be because they cram a half an hours worth of material into and hour show. I mean there was 3 minutes of unseen content in between the last two commercial breaks. Can I get some show with my advertisements?

8:37: They're back. Chandler asked how he's doing: I'm good, I'm glad I'm here...Anything for a buck.

8:38: "Have you ever thought that your past drug use may have caused permanent damage to your body?" Yes - true. Who cares.

8:40: Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about a friends wife?" Yes - true. What if it was a dream? That question seemed loaded.

8:42: "Have you ever had sexual relations with any of your wife's sisters?

Commercial break.

He's dated two of them, doesn't that depend on what the definition of is is? This show may be getting too stupid for my taste. Also if you're scoring at home, that's 8 minutes of commercials for 9 minutes of programming not including the commercial break we're currently engaged in. And that is with a minute at the opening of each segment to remind us what happened previously and a minute at the end of each segment to tease future content.

8:47: They're back. Let's give'em a minute to recap.

8:48: A: No - true. So the point if moot, I maintain that question was bullshit.

8:50: Have you ever had sex with any of your friends wives?

Commercial Break

I feel like Fox is really bending me over during this show. Network television's really gonna squeeze every last drop out of interest in their programming as fast as possible aren't they.

8:53: Another minute to recap.

8:54: Slimy host asks Chandler's wive if she has any idea what the answer is going to be. She says no. A: Yes - true (audience applauds, wife cries, Chandler wins $100,000).

He decides to call it quits and "go home with the money he has." It's not so much that he is leaving with the final shread of dignity that he has, it's that he is leaving with one strand less than the full compliment of anti-dignity.

Show ends, clips from future shows, then a flash of the production company called "Lighthearted entertainment".

I've seen the devil and it has FOX in the lower right hand corner.

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