Mayor Michael Bloomberg today announced city plans to deal with those that dealt it in the city’s latest move to curtail disagreeable behavior.
“This is a great day for the city of New York and for sensitive olfactory neurons everywhere,” said the mayor inside city hall – removed from the city’s still rank outdoors.
The decision comes on the heels of the city’s ban on trans-fat which followed closely behind the city-wide ban on smoking in restaurants and bars.
Initially intended to be put into effect in June, the blowhard prohibition has been moved back to August to follow the July implementation of the trans-fat ban.
“We thought the ban could be more strictly enforced following the trans-fat regulations,” said Policed Chief Raymond Kelly.
Opponents say that Mr. Bloomberg’s gone too far in his desire to control the behavior of New Yorkers.
“I’ve been farting around this city for 53 years,” said Crown Heights native Noah Stankiewicz, 53. “The Mayor and the fat cats in city hall are unsympathetic to the little people…with digestive disorders.”
Other city residents are excited about what they will say will finally put an end to odorific subway trips and hellacious elevator rides.
“I can finally breathe,” said one long-time Upper East Side resident.