Turning on the Stone

In honor of an impending trip to Turning Stone, I'm posting a story I wrote last semester. The instructions were to write a day in the life story. Most people wrote stories following around a local government official or resident of some note. I wrote a day in the life of a poker table. It's easily the most profitable story I've ever written.

Before that, I wanted to post a very exciting internet discovery. If you're already a fan of the show Arrested Development this is a treat, if you're not, I highly recommend watching a couple episodes. It's a matter of blasphemy to claim that there has ever been a better sitcom than Seinfeld but this show came very close.

On to the tale...

The only clock in Turning Stone casino resides in the poker room. The clock is there so that the dealers know when to switch tables. When I arrived on Wednesday evening the big hand was pointing to the 4 and the little hand had just passed the nine.

9:20: The room is well lit. Flat screen televisions line the room’s perimeter, fifty or so poker tables are in neat rows and columns, the carpet is generic casino tacky. I ponder the idea of a company that’s business is solely devoted to furnishing and carpeting casinos with the cheesiest patterns possible.

9:30: After putting my name on the list for a $100 max buy-in table I am called over the p.a. system. I am standing four feet from the man who announces my name into the microphone.

9:35: I am seated at a table with six 20-somethings, two of whom are listening to headphones; two 50-somethings, one of whom is getting a massage; and one 70-something; all male. I’ve spent a fair amount of time in poker rooms and this is a standard crowd.

9:40: The massage ends, the gentlemen receiving it, sitting directly to my right, says to the masseuse, “can you tell I’ve been driving all day?” she smiles at him as he hands her the money then walks away without responding.

9:50: I’m dealt a pair of queens and win $30 on the hand; a good start to the evening.

10:00: A new dealer by the name of Henderson arrives. Henderson is a cheery, short, Asian man.

10:25: I double my stack with Ace/King, I’m up to $250, the 20-something who lost the pot to me says “that one hurt” he’s down to under $100.

10:30: A new dealer Tiane arrives, the 70-something’s wife (?) has also arrived and is sitting right behind him at the table.

10:35: 70-something wins a very large pot, his lady friend is labeled a “lucky charm” by the all-day driver who then asks her to sit by him, the table chuckles.

10:45: I win a huge hand, crippling a pleasant, talkative, 20-something. My stack is over $500.

10:55: The pleasant, talkative, 20-something loses the remainder of his stack and walks away silent. He has lost over $400 in ten minutes. Upon his departure the 70-something says he feels bad, two of the 20-something’s disagree, saying they only feel bad that his chips didn’t end up in their stacks. The 70-something is the worst player at the table.

11:15: Two of the 20-somethings are from Long Island. I am from Long Island. One is from the town right next to my hometown and is good friends with a former classmate of mine. All of the 20-somethings at the table are in college or grad school. I ask a S.U.N.Y Binghamton student how long it takes him to get to the casino, he says “If you do between 85 and 90 the entire way it’s an hour an a half” he then confirms that he arrived in an hour and a half.

11:40: Henderson returns and says “Henderson back,” the table greets him warmly.

12:00: There is talk of a hand that occurred over an hour ago, when one player got lucky to defeat another player. Lucky player: “my hand wasn’t even that good.” Unlucky player (with an air of disgust): “I know.”

12:05: I knock out the 20-something from the town right next to mine. He walks away without saying goodbye. I am up to $600.

12:25: Binghamton is having a discussion with a floor manager about what he can and cannot do with his chips. He has over $400 in chips and wants to take some money off the table but “doesn’t want everyone thinking (he’s) a scumbag, cause (he’s) not.” The 70-something proceeds to refer to him as a scumbag for the next half an hour.

12:45: The table has thinned to five people, Binghamton calls the floor manager back over to inquire into the possibility of combining with one of the other $100 max buy-in tables so that we can play a full, ten handed game. Binghamton: “What do the other $100 tables look like?” Floor Manager: “’bout the same as this one, just scattered around the room.”

2:40: A father and son sit down at the table. Binghamton and I are the only two players left from when I arrived.

2:55: I ask what time it is, I can still see the clock but my cognitive abilities are beginning to fail me. Eric the dealer points me in the direction of the clock and says “2:55,” he proceeds to tell me that the clock is the only one in the casino; I promise myself I’ll leave when it says 3:30.

4:50: I stand up to leave. Binghamton is still at the table with eight other 20-somethings. I say goodbye, the whole table responds, none of them know my name. I walk out with $675, they all know how much I have.

Like a Stumbling Boulder

A review of a Rolling Stone issue (also, here's a link to a much more worthwhile publication in terms of music reviews www.pitchforkmedia.com. Pitchfork can be monumentally pedantic and self-involved (David Cross' "review" satirizes Pitchfork herehttp://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/feature/10279-guest-list-david-cross-albums-to-listen-to-while-reading-overwrought-pitchfork-reviews) but generally does well to review interesting, and upcoming artists):
If Rolling Stone were an ice cream, it’d be Chocolate - more unique than Vanilla (and proud of itself for being so) but not nearly as unusual as Rocky Road or Cherry Garcia. Nowhere is this more evident than in the August 10, 2006 edition.
The cover is a picture of Jimmy Page and Robert Plant from an era long gone looking cool as ever. It proclaims Zeppelin to be the “Heaviest Band of All Time,” which is a fair attempt at a bold title, and while it’s not exactly timely it is nice to see RS featuring musicians rather than Angelina Jolie or Avril Lavigne.
The table of contents declares that it is “All the News that Fits,” which I imagine was at some point edgy and counter-culturey, but now sounds like a joke my 9th grade math teacher might have made.
The front of the book is well designed with interesting music industry information, obits of famous musicians and general pop culture matters. There does seem to be a strong emphasis on the bottom line with nearly every news item mentioning sales if not actual dollar amounts. While money is obviously the engine of the music industry, that which drives the car is the music, and it seems Rolling Stone sometimes forgets that concept.
The feature story on Zeppelin is Rolling Stone doing what Rolling Stone does best. It’s a lengthy (eight page) look at the band and is interesting to both casual fans and Zeppelin aficionados. The pictures are an impressive collection that do well to highlight the essence of the article (there is also a picture of Page swigging Jack Daniels that is flat out inspiring). The article gets behind the scenes (and takes the reader there with it) at all the big moments of Zep’s career and provides insider info about a band that was always hard to understand.
The ending informs the reader that Mikal Gilmore, the articles author, has been writing for RS since 1976. This is why Rolling Stone can remain relevant despite it’s inability to fully grasp today’s music scene – it has unparalleled access to pop culture history, and in this article, it shows.
The problem with Rolling Stone is evident in two sections. First, in Target Iran, the magazine’s national affairs story, they discuss how the Pentagon and the Bush administration are once again plotting to start a war. At this point Rolling Stone would be far more controversial and edgy if they were to support something the Bush administration did. I'm certain that I could outline the political views of the editorial staff of RS, when a layman can do such a thing (or at least thinks he can), the magazine has lost it's ability to captivate an audience.
The other matter is more musical in its fault. The CD review section features eight separate reviews of new records. Six of the reviews receive three stars with two receiving three and a half. This is not compelling material. Frankly, if a music magazine cannot find a single record worth panning or extolling then it shouldn't be put out. There are too many records released each week to not be able to find something that isn't, well, vanilla. And this is where Rolling Stone has become irrelevant. The magazine is no longer willing to, or able to, decipher musical trends, or find the bands that are creating them. Very few music junkies turn to RS to find the next big thing, because RS is too busy churning out three star music reviews of records put out by the big five production companies.
Rolling Stone was an important magazine. It was chocolate when vanilla was all there was. However, the internet is Ben and Jerry and Rolling Stone has yet to add any flavor to its recipe.

Article Posting

This was a review I wrote on an 'issue' of Slate magazine. The review is admittedly lacking in substance but I was drunk when I wrote it and I think it's real funny. Also, I saw the pilot episode of Black Donnelly's last night (which can be dl'd for free on itunes). Yikes! The last 7 mins weren't bad but otherwise it felt like it was written by a bunch of 4th graders given to stereotyping. I'm also really curious as to how Hell's Kitchen got an elevated railway system but hey, that's just me. On a positive note Olivia Wilde is dynamite. I might keep watching for her alone. Without further ado, Slate:
The art of the critique is rather intriguing. Is the critic’s responsibility to be the most informed observer of the phenomenon he endeavors to review or should he assume the layman’s perspective? Who is his master? Is it the intelligentsia or the humble masses? The art or the audience? Why should the reviewer remove himself from the art I wish to critique when the elements of self-expression are just as evident in his voice as those he is concerned with? Isn’t the critique a response, just like the work of Masaccio was to that of Giotto or Carrot Top to Gallagher? Idk. With those thoughts on the mind and none of them on display I shall pursue the critique of a new medium of magazine: The Webmag or Ezine, or Webzine, or as I like to call it, the ZinWebaMag.
Slate magazine is doing it’s best to toe that fine line between boring old-form news magazine and useless blog. The audience must skew older because I don’t know who else would read it.
The lead story utilizes the instant format of the medium to report on the fall of the “bus plunge” story from the pages of the New York Times. The dive in coverage began in the 1980’s and seems to have tumbled to a halt five years ago.
The article’s driver, Jack Shafer, is kind enough to provide his readers with a strong dose of Dramamine in the fifth paragraph when he mentions that the drop in “bus plunge” stories was initially mentioned to him over a year ago when writer Tom Miller asked him to investigate.
What follows is either the most inefficient year in the history of investigative journalism or a poorly formed attempt at last minute humor. My antipathy toward Shafer is saved only by the fact that I learned through the article Slate Votes that he has cast his ballot for the Libertarian party in every presidential election since he was eligible to vote. Impressive not only in it’s stubbornness but also in its acumen, imho.
Also worthy of derision in this “issue” of slate is Christopher Hitchens send-up of the Borat movie. I’ve been a fan of Sacha Baron Cohen’s for over five years and I was actually a bit disappointed with the film as well as surprised by how often he goes for the cheap joke in Borat. So it’s not that I disagree with Hitchens - the poor-man’s P.J. O’Rourke – it’s that he sounds like my Grandfather when he’s been up past 8 p.m.
One thing that I think Slate does well is to make links to its other content readily available while reading an article. So, if one happens to be a Diane Arbus fan, and is reading, say, an article by Jack Shafer and about to X out the page, the name Arbus might catch his eye and save him from exiting the site. Each page has not only and Also in Slate column but also a “Most Popular” section. These are clever innovations and certain to be staples of ZinWebaMag pages.
The idea of Slate is certainly progressive and I applaud the transparency that the Slate Votes article promoted. However, imo, I think that they need to be more creative in the ways in which they use the medium. The internet can provide as many opportunities as individuals can think of but they have to be willing to break the mold first.

Article Posting

I'm going to be posting a series of the articles I've written for school. Some are on topics that I wasn't even the least bit interested in but perhaps some one out there is. This first one was published as the lead story in a local alternative weekly.
“Impeach.” This word is written in bold, white letters on a sign that sits in front of a house on Crawford Street. The sign, with its blood-red background, has been appearing on lawns throughout Syracuse. The target is President Bush and the message is clear.
“I think the man is completely incompetent,” said Kate O’Hara-Matthews, resident of the house that sits just off of Meadowbrook Road. O’Hara-Matthews said that she and her husband decided to put up the sign because they wanted to get people to think about the situation in Iraq and the president’s culpability therein. “If you don’t have a son or a family member that has come back in a body bag it doesn’t really affect you,” O’Hara-Matthews said of the war.
The sign’s message is more about showing a disdain for the Bush administration’s policies than about actually pursuing impeachment proceedings. “It makes us feel better” she said of the desire to do something in response to a war she believes is completely unjust.
Miranda Hine shares O’Hara-Matthew’s views. The two are friends and Hine had some initial reservations about what the neighbors might think of her sign. When Hine saw that O’Hara-Matthew’s had put the sign on her lawn, the boldness inspired her, “damn it, that’s what this country’s about, I’m going to put it out,” said the elementary school teacher.
“I wanted to voice my sadness about what is going on in the world today as a result of his policies,” Hine said.
Hine, a duel British and American citizen, fears that the standing of the United States has suffered as a result of the administration’s policies. “I think we’re acting like bullies” she said of the U.S. agenda. Hine believes that the United States has been selective in its approach to “giving freedom,” by attacking Iraq and remaining largely inactive while areas of Africa suffer through genocide.
Katie O’Royrke’s sign formerly resided on the front lawn of her house. The sign was stolen from her yard on the corner of Euclid and Livingston. O’Royrke said she bought the sign last Sunday afternoon and by Thursday evening it was gone.
O’Royrke says she doesn’t expect the movement to impeach Bush to actually produce any tangible results but put the sign up as a statement of her feelings on the administration.
Jessica Maxwell thinks the sign can be more than just a statement. Maxwell, a staff member of Syracuse’s Peace Council, is hopeful that this year’s mid-term elections can swing the balance of power in congress. Maxwell feels that if the U.S. continues to suffer military losses in Iraq people are going to become more disillusioned with the administration. Maxwell said that the signs “create a sense of being part of the campaign against Bush and Cheney.” The first step toward getting involved in the larger movement toward impeachment she said.
The Peace Council is where both O’Hara-Matthews and Hine initially acquired their signs. The signs have been moving surprisingly fast according to Maxwell who said they recently made their third order of the signs from the Syracuse Cultural Workers, the organization that produces them.
Karen Kerney, SCW’s art director, said the idea for the signs began as a response to the lawn signs politicians often give out in the run up to elections. “Stop The War In Iraq” was one of the SCW's first lawn signs and it drew quite a response. Kerney said that the Iraq sign made people interested in other potential signs. “Getting past that place of saying what you believe” was an important first step toward emboldening people to be willing to put the “Impeach” sign on their lawn, said Kerney.
The SCW’s publisher, Dik Cool, is a strong advocate of the movement to impeach President Bush. While he is not convinced of the viability of such a campaign he does cite the fact that “50 or 60 congress people have signed a petition to support an inquiry into impeachment.” In fact, there was a bill co-sponsored by 32 Democrats in the House to create a select committee to investigate whether there's enough evidence to impeach President Bush according to the March 24, edition of the Minneapolis Star Tribune. While not 50 or 60, the 32 members represent more than ten percent of the Democrats in the House.
The local sentiment to impeach President Bush is reflective of a greater national sentiment both at the grassroots level and in more established political channels. In September of 2005, the Santa Cruz City Council passed a resolution calling on the House Judiciary Committee to investigate whether President Bush could be impeached for his actions leading up to the war in Iraq. Since then, dozens of other city councils have followed suite culminating with Russ Feingold, the Democratic, junior senator from Wisconsin, introducing a resolution to censure President Bush in March of this year, according to the March 31, edition of the Columbus Dispatch.
The movement to impeach Bush is not limited to left-leaning, private and public citizens. In August of 2006, Pat Buchanan, two-time Republican presidential hopeful and co-founding editor of “The American Conservative,” called for a “courageous Republican” to introduce a bill to impeach the president “charging George W. Bush with a conscious refusal to uphold his oath and defend the states of the Union against "invasion" [of illegal aliens].”
In an article later that month, Joseph Farah, founder, editor and CEO, of World Net Daily, a conservative online news site, echoed Buchanan’s sentiment. In an email exchange with him earlier this week, Farah reiterated his call for Bush’s impeachment saying that “Americans are losing faith in the system of political accountability.” Farah said that there was not any real viability to the impeachment movement on the issue of illegal aliens but did say that the impeachment would “be extremely healthy [for the U.S. government]. Congress needs to reassert its rightful authority under the constitution.”
The movement in Syracuse to impeach President Bush has caused people to both put up and take down the controversial “Impeach” signs. The movement is gaining traction in the area as well as continuing to raise its profile nationally. The red sign with white lettering represents what Hine called, “a feeling of frustration,” that many Syracusans are no longer willing to let go unvoiced.