The great thing about being a famous rapper is that I'm essentially supposed to be as self-indulgent as possible. Even things that I might not actually want, I have to indulge myself so that I seem excessively indulgent. Not all of us famous rappers actually care about having chrome rims (note: I could be entirely wrong about this) but we all roll on 22's. Not all of us famous rappers think men should wear diamonds but we all rock so much ice we could be glaciers. So I put together a list of excessively self-indulgent Things I am Going to do Because I'm a Famous Rapper:
10. Hire a band to follow me everywhere playing my own personal soundtrack. (eg. when I'm running they play Hustlin' by Rick Ross (while running behind me). When I'm tagging one of my bitches they play Biggie's I'm Fucking You Tonight, when I'm making sweet love to my hood rat chick they play Marvin Gaye or Bill Withers etc.)
9. Commission a cologne that smells like money. (After writing this I googled "money cologne" and found this).
8. Wear excessive amounts of said cologne.
7. Have women crawl behind me wherever I walk.
6. Have women walk in front of me throwing rose pedals in my path.
5a. Purchase a small building in Time Sq
5b. Knock the building down
5c. Erect a bronze statue of myself in its place
4. Not carry a cell phone
3. Tattoo a $100 bill on my forehead.
2. Have gold bullets with my initials engraved on them in platinum.
And the number one thing I'm going to do because I'm a famous rapper and need to be self-indulgent is...
1. Kidnap 50 Cent and make him work a desk job.