Thursday, July 19, 2007

Drinking Alone Redux

Editors note: This is the second installment of Yfbfb's diary of drinking alone. I edited the previous post but have left this entirely unedited. There are some links that I've posted along the way that were found/posted while sober. I woke up this morning on the couch next to my computer. Apparently I passed-out sometime after 12:46.

8:00: I am happy to report that this installment of the lone drinker has begun on time. Tonight’s drunkenness is being brought to you by a magnum of Talus Pinot Grigio. Talus: delivering brutal hangovers since 1984. Tonight’s cosponsor is Fris Vodka. Fris: damaging eyesight since 1989.

8:12: Just finished my first glass of wine, this is an aggressive pace. I also just learned that Planet Earth is on from 12-2 this evening. I have yet to see this show but have heard very good things, more on it later.

8:25: I watched the most recent episode of Entourage earlier today. Many people had been bashing this show’s recent efforts but I was hesitant to be critical. After this episode I’m on board. I found the scene where Drama and Turtle are smoking pot to be particularly offensive. Man that was cheesedick.

8:53: I was watching a bit of the Colbert Report (sober: couldn't find the video of this Colbert segment but did find this video, of Colbert at the White House Correspondents dinner) and he was talking about Senator David Vitter’s number being found in the DC Madam’s phone records. I’ll try to find this link tomorrow (sober: ) but apparently his wife, during the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal, said that she was more Lorena Bobbitt than Hilary Clinton – with regards to allowing spousal infidelity – this delights me (on glass four).

9:19: One afternoon when my friends and I were in an altered state we decided to give ourselves rap names. My name was Cervantes and my crew was the Extroditables. Cervantes says: if you haven’t copped that new T.I. shit you best do so stat. That record is fire.

9:32: Just watched Derek Jeter start a Yankee rally with a crucial single (not to take anything away from A-Rod, who’s hit was obviously huge, but it was important to get the first runner on and Jeter delivered). Anyone who loves baseball and doesn’t realize the value of Derek Jeter does not watch many Yankee games. He’s like God only he exists (glass five).

10:00: I’ve been thinking about a book I read by David Hajdu about Bob Dylan, Joan Baez, Mimi Baez, and Richard Farina. In it, Hajdu makes the claim (and substantiates it) that Dylan’s persona was essentially fraudulent. I wonder how apt that claim would be for the rest of us.

10:27: This wine’s starting to taste like caster oil. I don’t know what caster oil is, let alone what it taste like but I imagine it’s something like this. I have about a glass and a half left, I can’t wait till I can move to vodka. A friend of mine just called and told me (sober: this friend was McNuts, he didn't actually call, he texted) he’s at a boxing match that’s being broadcast on ESPN2, I love boxing.

11:14: Just finished the wine. Thank God (or his non-existent replacement). That shit really was irritating. I’ve been watching boxing for the last half an hour and I love that shit. I’ve boxed before and it is the most exhausting shit I’ve ever engaged in. I truly believe these people are sick athletes, plus they’re willing to beat the crap out of other human beings, it’s an interesting mind-set.

11:25: I’ve finished the wine and I’m now going to move to the vodka. I feel like I’ve been unextordinary thus far and expect interesting things to occur in the near future, we’ll see.

11:32: The thing is, the vodka/olive juice mix actually has too much olive mix in it. I don’t expect much more coherence.

11;38: I wonder how close I am to blacking out. This is something that is never understood in many alcoholics minds (including and most specifically mine, considering the circumstances) but I am not there yet, at least I don’t believe myself to be there (important aside: I’m writing this on microsoftword, occasionally I type words incorrectly, like microsoftword, and correct them because of the squiggly red lines.) I like to qualify myself under any and all circumstances.

11::59: It’s becoming difficult to type posts, I’m a magnum in and a solid slug of vodka, I’m going to watch Planet Earth, hopfully it’s as cool as I’ve heard.

12:10: Fuck you Gleeson. You’ve always thought you’re a progeneter (sober: I have no idea what this means). At least the Yanks won.

12:12: I’ve found people to be wonderously uninteresting.

12:14: I’m going to tackle my chair into my couch. This is is stupid.

12:16: It wasn’t so much my upperbody that suffered injuries it was my thighs and calfs.

12:17: Another cigarette and I’ll figure things out

12:25: My idiocy can’t really be describe in proper drunken speak. I only believe in feelings as they pertain to individuals worthy of feelings. When I don’t care it’s because I don’t care.

12:27: Let’s talk about existensialism: sure it means nothing (particularly to some one who can’t put together a sentence) but that’s important to a man who can’t put togethic existence.

12;37: wasted right now, we’ll see

12::46: I’m floored. Don’t really kknow why I threw myself into the couch, we’ll figure it out as we go along

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