Tuesday, May 1, 2007

The DC Madam Top 10

I am so excited for this story, I can't even control myself. 132 women working as high-end call girls in DC for 13 years and now the Madam is going to name names? This could be the super bowl of political hypocrisy. Already on the mat is former Bush administration "Aid's Czar" Randall Tobias who was endowed with the responsibility of promoting abstinence and monogamy as the most effective way to curtail the spread of HIV/AIDS. And there is so much more to come. In honor of this gem of a story, I have decided to put together a top 10 list of politicians likely to be named by Palfrey on Thursday.

10. Rick Santorum, the former junior senator from Pennsylvania is my sleeper pick in the hooker draft. Santorum is known for his conservative social views and is certainly one of the slimiest characters ever to grace the halls of the capital.

9. Joseph Biden, after getting caught cheating on a paper at Syracuse law school Biden was caught plagiarizing a speech from a British MP during his run for the Democratic presidential nomination in 1988. The guy also has a smoking-jacket kind of feel to him that reeks of...well, never mind.

8. Edward Kennedy, he may have been blacked out but we've all made some questionable decisions when we've had a couple.

7. Bob Packwood, yes Bob certainly does, to the tune of 29 women who claimed some form of sexual abuse at the hands of Packwood. He must have had Palfrey on speed dial.

6. Pat Robertson, televangelist and 1988 Republican presidential hopeful, Robertson has been accused, under oath, of entertaining prostitutes in his earlier years and is not unlikely to have horrified prostitutes in his later years.

5. Bob Livingston, exposed during Larry Flynt's witch hunt (which was really more like a fish in a barrel hunt), Livingston resigned after women came forward exposing his infidelity.

4. Bob Barr, also a victim of Flynt, Barr married his second wife within 1 month of his divorce to his first wife. Barr also sports one of the shadiest mustaches in the history of facial hair.

3. Henry Hyde, the former chair of the House International Relations Committee, Hyde describe a four-year affair that he had at the age of 41 to be a youthful indiscretion. According to this I have another 15 years to be a scumbag.

2. Newt Gingrich, there's not a snowball's chance in hell that Gingrich kept his greasy paws off of the hookers

1. Bill Clinton, although it may depend on what the definition of "is" is, Clinton was, is, and will always be in a class of his own when it comes to the ladies er the prostitutes er the interns.

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