Friday, June 25, 2010
Bomb sniffing dogs
Have you ever walked by a bomb sniffing dog with drugs in your pocket and grown concerned that the dog may be on his second career?
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
On Spicey Food
I never liked spicy food. I always thought that it was preposterous that anyone could like spicy food. It seemed made-up to me that anyone actually liked the experience of pain while they ate their food. It seemed more an exhibition of machismo to like spicy food then an actual appreciation of the food. It took me being stoned one day (today) to understand what it is to like spicy food. It's an act of self-mutilation. It's a teenager cutting himself. It's the only thing that's real.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Call in Agnostic/Atheist Day
Call your boss from work on Dec. 25 and ask them where they are.
The national Call in Gay Day seems to have failed due to the haphazard way in which it was put together and, more importantly the struggles of an economy that could claim the employment of individuals willing to sacrifice productivity for ideology. So YFBFB proposes a Call in Agnostic/Atheist Day, in which all who claim no such ideological attachments call their bosses from work on December 25 and inquire as to their whereabouts. "What do you mean you're not coming to work today? It's Thursday, there's work to be done. Who's birthday? I know Joel in accounting took off for his birthday but this is not becoming SOP is it?"
I challenge any boss to question this day's utility.
The national Call in Gay Day seems to have failed due to the haphazard way in which it was put together and, more importantly the struggles of an economy that could claim the employment of individuals willing to sacrifice productivity for ideology. So YFBFB proposes a Call in Agnostic/Atheist Day, in which all who claim no such ideological attachments call their bosses from work on December 25 and inquire as to their whereabouts. "What do you mean you're not coming to work today? It's Thursday, there's work to be done. Who's birthday? I know Joel in accounting took off for his birthday but this is not becoming SOP is it?"
I challenge any boss to question this day's utility.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Sarah Palin's "Radical Right-Wing" Mentors
This Salon article is fascinating but the use of "radical right-wing" twice in the article and once in the title is self-defeating. It's trendy these days to be as hyperbolic as possible and perhaps it helps attract attention but the article makes clear that the gentlemen at the heart of the story are indeed "radical right-wing"ers. Further, while the use of the term may serve to compel individuals predisposed to dislike Palin to read it it compels others to simply dismiss it as part of the "liberal mainstream media"s agenda.
As a journalism school graduate who has personally witnessed the liberal bias among many of those who aspire to work in media, I'm always shocked at the excesses of supposed responsible, objective journalism. Journalists who have strong political opinions should recognize that they needn't radicalize their stories with unnecessary language. If the story alone doesn't prove their point then they either need to re-examine their beliefs or realize that the story isn't worthy of publication. If it does reinforce their beliefs then they should let the reader come to it on their own. Otherwise the reader already shares that believe or has stopped reading before they get to the nut of the story.
As a journalism school graduate who has personally witnessed the liberal bias among many of those who aspire to work in media, I'm always shocked at the excesses of supposed responsible, objective journalism. Journalists who have strong political opinions should recognize that they needn't radicalize their stories with unnecessary language. If the story alone doesn't prove their point then they either need to re-examine their beliefs or realize that the story isn't worthy of publication. If it does reinforce their beliefs then they should let the reader come to it on their own. Otherwise the reader already shares that believe or has stopped reading before they get to the nut of the story.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
5 AM
I'm up and drunk, some thoughts:
Sarah Palin's run for the Vice Presidency has upset me to the point that I'm truly concerned for the future of this country. Anyone of even moderate intellect should be able to ascertain that this woman has no business running this country. This is not a matter of politics, this is a matter of competency and frankly she is devoid of competency. She was a tape recorder in the debates and the idea that a debater can legitimately state that they are not going to respond to the moderator's questions is beyond is preposterous.
Also note cards should not be allowed in debates. They're counter intuitive to the concept and antithetical to the purpose.
I'm watching a program called Lockup: Pendleton, its part of the Lockup series about prison life on MSNBC that I've really enjoyed. This program is specifically devoted to a military integration unit that is particularly interesting. Of note - and not addressed in the program - is the racial divide in the unit. This website puts Pendleton's racial breakdown at 54/41 white/black but the military unit seems overwhelmingly white. The show has just reached it's completion and both of the new recruits that they selected were black. They only placed two individuals in the program when they could have placed three so it can be assumed that they were the best candidates but I wonder if affirmative action plays in the selection process. As said it doesn't seem so but I am unaware of the legal requirements therein (and curious if they are required to abide by affirmative action requirements - as they certainly don't seem to be fulfilling them of yet).
This program is wildly conflicting to me. On one side I think the purpose of prison is correctional and redemptive but at the same time its unfortunate to consider that a part of our (The United States) military is made up of ex-cons. There's a perception in the States that northeast citizens perceive the military with condensation, this perception holds a certain degree of weight, unfortunately, but that is because many of the individuals who choose to go into the military in the northeast are indeed criminals or at least miscreants. When I was in high school I was asked to take a piss for a friend who was in AA because he was forced to go there (essentially) for stupidity, to this day I like the kid but he's now a representative of our nation's military. The reason I mention this is that for better or worse (and certainly more for the worse) the perception of the military in the northeast is generally that of thugs and individuals who don't deserve to represent us in international circumstances.
Perhaps I thinking too much of it, and I'm willing to admit that may be the case, but it's wildly disheartening that a man of the quality of David Foster Wallace committed suicide. I've never met him and maybe I'm over sentimental of an author who was one of the best of our generation but if he's committing suicide we must be heading in the wrong direction.
We should be fostering minds like those not allowing for their demise.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Lone Drinker: Vice Presidential Debate Edition
Sarah Palin is the culmination of everything there is to love about American politics. As the country has fallen deeper and deeper into the abyss I've learned to stop worrying and love the con. There's little doubt in my mind that a McCain/Palin administration would be bad for the country but at this point I'm almost rooting for them to win as it would certainly be America's greatest reality show.
Tonight's debate should be gangbusters and as such I thought a Lone Drinker was in order. Accompanied only by a magnum of La Monica Montepulciano, my computer, dog and television, I will attempt to discern what kills the most brain cells: the wine or listening to Sarah Palin and Joe Biden. 100 dead brain cells for each glass of wine, 100 for each dumb thing Palin says and 200 for each dumb thing Biden says (the glass ceiling still exists in this game).
8:18: Peggy Noonan is on the Daily Show, she's graceful and genuine. I used to think that was absolutely true but this video has completely blurred my understanding of her. It seems like everyone in the public limelight is filled with bullshit up to their talking heads. Glass one.
8:29: Just saw a commercial for the new Edward Norton vehicle (I've been watching Entourage lately) Pride and Glory, looks pretty good or perhaps terrible, can't tell.
8:54: Just had a pre-debate smoke to settle my nerves, I'm so excited I can barely control myself. On glass three.
8:57: I'm watching the debate on PBS. I like to support PBS by watching it even though the numbers mean nothing to their bottom line, 100 dead brain cells for my own stupidity. Also I must mention I ran 7.5 miles today so my extremities aren't working very well, this could come into play in later updates.
9:00: Gwen Ifill's moderating which pisses me off. She has a book coming out about the rise of Black politicians in America set to come out on inauguration day. I generally like Ifill but she has a financial interest in Obama winning and regardless of her bias or lack there of, the appearance of impropriety will give the 'pubs an out if Palin bombs.
9:03: Palin looks hot, Biden just coughed before the first question, this is gonna be great!
9:04: Biden blames deregulation for the failure of Wall St. Delaware has some of the most lax tax laws in the country hence the multitude of corporations who have their headquarters there. Biden 200 brain cells.
9:05: Palin comes out storming with "talk with a parent at their kids soccer game" in distress over the economy. She's been heavily prepped and is showing it, 100 brain cells.
9:09: I hate this maverick shit, Ifill properly calls Biden and Palin on not answering the question posed to them.
9:10: "Hockey mom's, Joe Six Pack," she's a fucking tape recorder, 200 brain cells.
9:13: That's the second time Palin has waved while talking about average or middle American families, that's preposterous, 300 brain cells.
9:14: "I may not answer the questions that you or the moderator want to hear," Jesus, 400 brain cells.
9:17: She waved again, what the fuck? Fuck it, people are probably eating this shit up.
9:20: Palin's waved 3 times but Biden's now pointed at us twice, um who the hell preps these idiots.
9:22: "We cannot slow up on education," good work Joe, 400 brain cells. I'm gonna have to start drinking faster if I want to keep up.
9:26: Opposing windfall profits tax isn't the same as giving a tax cut, sorry Joe, 600 brain cells.
9:27: Palin is butchering a question that I don't even know what it was, she got off topic somehow, yikes, 500 brain cells. Glass five.
9:28: Biden might have just done something genius. Um, no, he tried to and the idea was genius, he brought up the idea of allowing home owners to stay in their homes and adjusting not just their interest but the principle they owe - not sure if I agree with that policy but what he did was say that he's not sure if McCain or Palin agree with that, Ifill then tried to press Palin but she slipped out of it. To any discerning viewer she's essentially reading note cards to most people she's probably nailing it.
9:33: Biden's stumbling over his words like the drunk I suspect he is. Normally I wouldn't hammer a guy for that, considering this post and many like it before is dedicated to real time alcohol consumption, but he is in the midst of a Veep debate, put down the Jameson Biden.
9:35: "Nucular" holy shit, not again. Palin, 600 brain cells.
9:36: Watching Palin write notes is hysterical. If she's talking from her own notes my dog is multilingual.
9:39: Palin is definitely scoring points with the Iraq talk. No doubt they're not her points but points non the less. Unless of course she's spent the last month thinking about Iraq exclusively after she said she hadn't thought about it, and somehow acquired the ability of analytical thinking.
9:42: How are we spending 10 billion dollars a month in Iraq when they have an 87 billion dollar surplus. Why isn't the new government of Iraq paying for our troops? We put them there for fucks sake.
9:44: Biden pointed at me again, I'd like to brake his finger. I've said this before but he reminds me of the creepy uncle at family reunions who's a little to interested in your female cousins.
9:45: Ifill's doing a great job btw.
9:47: "Nucular" twice, this word is not that fucking hard to pronounce. 800 dead brain cells that feel like victims of rape and incest.
9:52: Joe Biden just referred to himself in the third person, 800 dead brain cells, this is turning out to be quite a match. Glass six.
9:56: Is it supposed to be cool and "American" to say nuclear wrong? What the fuck is going on, why has this country become so retarded?
10:00: Biden just audibly sighed, that's a huge mistake. 1,000 dead brain cells.
10:03: "It's so obvious I'm a Washington outsider," I was a bigger fan when she was her own retard. Glass seven, I want a cigarette, I can't keep up with these morons.
10:08: How would your presidential policy differ from the president's if they were to pass away: "I would carry out Barack's policies" good work again Joe. You're the same exact person, that's bold.
10:09: Fuck the brain cells idea, we're all dumber for this despite of our alcohol consumption. If a student were to respond to any of these questions from a teacher they'd be lampooned. Please vote for Bob Barr, the politics of this country are fucked and it doesn't really matter who's doing the fucking.
10:12: Honestly Sarah Palin has been willing to completely fore go her own opinions in order to accept the Vice Presidential opportunity. She's hasn't expressed a single opinion that she had discussed in interviews prior to this debate. I really hate everyone involved in this campaign but she seems particularly deplorable.
10:16: They shouldn't allow talking points in presidential or veep debates. If candidates want to take notes that's fine but they shouldn't be allowed to bring anything along. If they need anything then whomever writes it should be the candidate not the individual.
10:21: My interpretation of the republican advisers to Sarah Palin over the last 3 days: "Sarah, if you don't know what to say, bang out a couple "Mavericks" and "Ya'll's" "Change" and "average people".
10:23: Biden's pouncing on the Maverick thing, interesting, I wonder if this will play. Glass eight.
10:27: Honestly, I don't like Biden, he's a cheater, cheated in law school, plagiarized a speech while running for president but at least he's attempting to answer the questions posed to him. Palin's just regurgitating platitudes and reciting lines fed to her, I doubt she'll be in very many off the cuff interviews from here on out.
10:31: Biden's blathering on after Palin just blathered on, I'll be back after some reflection.
Tonight's debate should be gangbusters and as such I thought a Lone Drinker was in order. Accompanied only by a magnum of La Monica Montepulciano, my computer, dog and television, I will attempt to discern what kills the most brain cells: the wine or listening to Sarah Palin and Joe Biden. 100 dead brain cells for each glass of wine, 100 for each dumb thing Palin says and 200 for each dumb thing Biden says (the glass ceiling still exists in this game).
8:18: Peggy Noonan is on the Daily Show, she's graceful and genuine. I used to think that was absolutely true but this video has completely blurred my understanding of her. It seems like everyone in the public limelight is filled with bullshit up to their talking heads. Glass one.
8:29: Just saw a commercial for the new Edward Norton vehicle (I've been watching Entourage lately) Pride and Glory, looks pretty good or perhaps terrible, can't tell.
8:54: Just had a pre-debate smoke to settle my nerves, I'm so excited I can barely control myself. On glass three.
8:57: I'm watching the debate on PBS. I like to support PBS by watching it even though the numbers mean nothing to their bottom line, 100 dead brain cells for my own stupidity. Also I must mention I ran 7.5 miles today so my extremities aren't working very well, this could come into play in later updates.
9:00: Gwen Ifill's moderating which pisses me off. She has a book coming out about the rise of Black politicians in America set to come out on inauguration day. I generally like Ifill but she has a financial interest in Obama winning and regardless of her bias or lack there of, the appearance of impropriety will give the 'pubs an out if Palin bombs.
9:03: Palin looks hot, Biden just coughed before the first question, this is gonna be great!
9:04: Biden blames deregulation for the failure of Wall St. Delaware has some of the most lax tax laws in the country hence the multitude of corporations who have their headquarters there. Biden 200 brain cells.
9:05: Palin comes out storming with "talk with a parent at their kids soccer game" in distress over the economy. She's been heavily prepped and is showing it, 100 brain cells.
9:09: I hate this maverick shit, Ifill properly calls Biden and Palin on not answering the question posed to them.
9:10: "Hockey mom's, Joe Six Pack," she's a fucking tape recorder, 200 brain cells.
9:13: That's the second time Palin has waved while talking about average or middle American families, that's preposterous, 300 brain cells.
9:14: "I may not answer the questions that you or the moderator want to hear," Jesus, 400 brain cells.
9:17: She waved again, what the fuck? Fuck it, people are probably eating this shit up.
9:20: Palin's waved 3 times but Biden's now pointed at us twice, um who the hell preps these idiots.
9:22: "We cannot slow up on education," good work Joe, 400 brain cells. I'm gonna have to start drinking faster if I want to keep up.
9:26: Opposing windfall profits tax isn't the same as giving a tax cut, sorry Joe, 600 brain cells.
9:27: Palin is butchering a question that I don't even know what it was, she got off topic somehow, yikes, 500 brain cells. Glass five.
9:28: Biden might have just done something genius. Um, no, he tried to and the idea was genius, he brought up the idea of allowing home owners to stay in their homes and adjusting not just their interest but the principle they owe - not sure if I agree with that policy but what he did was say that he's not sure if McCain or Palin agree with that, Ifill then tried to press Palin but she slipped out of it. To any discerning viewer she's essentially reading note cards to most people she's probably nailing it.
9:33: Biden's stumbling over his words like the drunk I suspect he is. Normally I wouldn't hammer a guy for that, considering this post and many like it before is dedicated to real time alcohol consumption, but he is in the midst of a Veep debate, put down the Jameson Biden.
9:35: "Nucular" holy shit, not again. Palin, 600 brain cells.
9:36: Watching Palin write notes is hysterical. If she's talking from her own notes my dog is multilingual.
9:39: Palin is definitely scoring points with the Iraq talk. No doubt they're not her points but points non the less. Unless of course she's spent the last month thinking about Iraq exclusively after she said she hadn't thought about it, and somehow acquired the ability of analytical thinking.
9:42: How are we spending 10 billion dollars a month in Iraq when they have an 87 billion dollar surplus. Why isn't the new government of Iraq paying for our troops? We put them there for fucks sake.
9:44: Biden pointed at me again, I'd like to brake his finger. I've said this before but he reminds me of the creepy uncle at family reunions who's a little to interested in your female cousins.
9:45: Ifill's doing a great job btw.
9:47: "Nucular" twice, this word is not that fucking hard to pronounce. 800 dead brain cells that feel like victims of rape and incest.
9:52: Joe Biden just referred to himself in the third person, 800 dead brain cells, this is turning out to be quite a match. Glass six.
9:56: Is it supposed to be cool and "American" to say nuclear wrong? What the fuck is going on, why has this country become so retarded?
10:00: Biden just audibly sighed, that's a huge mistake. 1,000 dead brain cells.
10:03: "It's so obvious I'm a Washington outsider," I was a bigger fan when she was her own retard. Glass seven, I want a cigarette, I can't keep up with these morons.
10:08: How would your presidential policy differ from the president's if they were to pass away: "I would carry out Barack's policies" good work again Joe. You're the same exact person, that's bold.
10:09: Fuck the brain cells idea, we're all dumber for this despite of our alcohol consumption. If a student were to respond to any of these questions from a teacher they'd be lampooned. Please vote for Bob Barr, the politics of this country are fucked and it doesn't really matter who's doing the fucking.
10:12: Honestly Sarah Palin has been willing to completely fore go her own opinions in order to accept the Vice Presidential opportunity. She's hasn't expressed a single opinion that she had discussed in interviews prior to this debate. I really hate everyone involved in this campaign but she seems particularly deplorable.
10:16: They shouldn't allow talking points in presidential or veep debates. If candidates want to take notes that's fine but they shouldn't be allowed to bring anything along. If they need anything then whomever writes it should be the candidate not the individual.
10:21: My interpretation of the republican advisers to Sarah Palin over the last 3 days: "Sarah, if you don't know what to say, bang out a couple "Mavericks" and "Ya'll's" "Change" and "average people".
10:23: Biden's pouncing on the Maverick thing, interesting, I wonder if this will play. Glass eight.
10:27: Honestly, I don't like Biden, he's a cheater, cheated in law school, plagiarized a speech while running for president but at least he's attempting to answer the questions posed to him. Palin's just regurgitating platitudes and reciting lines fed to her, I doubt she'll be in very many off the cuff interviews from here on out.
10:31: Biden's blathering on after Palin just blathered on, I'll be back after some reflection.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Motes '08
My dog's nickname is The Motes. My dog should be the next president of the United States.
Motes '08. True vision for the future.
Motes '08. True vision for the future.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Rule of thumb for modern living:
If your friend wears a pink shirt the same day you wear a pink shirt don't be friends for that day, not forever, but for that day.
I came across those two gentlemen on the j train this morning at Bowery. Fortunately they got off at Broad St. because I was prepared to follow them anywhere in order to take that picture.
Vegas this weekend, YFBFB has returned.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Dylan at Prospect Park
The twilight of Bob Dylan’s career would be better served if he was less like a rolling stone and more like a Rolling Stone. As Martin Scorsese’s recent Shine a Light documentary proved (and from what I’ve heard all of their concerts still prove) the Stones have been around for a long, long year but haven’t really lost a step. The same cannot be said for Mr. Dylan.
$55 a head and 5 hours later we were standing on the beer line at PP Theater waiting for a chance to pay $6 for a Budweiser. The theater is like a natural forming amphitheater with the venue gradually rising as you move further from the stage. We were quite far from the stage and couldn’t see very clearly but the rain had stopped an hour or two earlier and our spirits could not be dampened.
Dylan came out with Rainy Day Woman #12 & 35 which was neat but turned disappointing. His backing band sounded folksy and the crowd droned out much of Dylan’s singing (either that or he actually was only singing about one in every four words which is also a possibility).
There were a couple highlights, Masters of War was very good and Dylan seemed enthused by the song, also whenever he broke out the harmonica it seemed particularly special. All in all it was an experience to get to see Bob Dylan perform, but had a complete unknown 67 year old man played the same exact music, $55 could have purchased a lot more $6 beers.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
A Little Bit of Shut the Fuck Up
How much luck is required to never encounter a little bit of luck ad, ever again? However much it is I hope all New Yorkers encounter it in the near future.
Couple links:
Interesting story about Japan taking extremely aggressive steps to curb obesity that includes this line: "I don’t think the campaign will have any positive effect. Now if you did this in the United States, there would be benefits," ah America, land of the free and home of the broad.
Attempting to understand the anger people have over Budweiser being sold to a European company is really confounding. Check the comments section.
Interesting New York Magazine article about male infidelity. Although I'm perplexed as to how Weiss doesn't include an exploration of male concern for the infidelity of women at some point, seems relevent.
The article does include this gem: ""Recent analyses of genetic databases reveal that fully 10 percent of people have different biological fathers from the men they name as their fathers." Wow.
Random thoughts:
Florida is a curious mix of strip malls, trailer parks, palm trees, and tourist destinations. There is nothing else.
There's more to people raising their sunglasses to see things more clearly than simply better vision.
I don't believe in opening mail because I think it deserves its privacy.
If only we could control-f our lives.
Couple links:
Interesting story about Japan taking extremely aggressive steps to curb obesity that includes this line: "I don’t think the campaign will have any positive effect. Now if you did this in the United States, there would be benefits," ah America, land of the free and home of the broad.
Attempting to understand the anger people have over Budweiser being sold to a European company is really confounding. Check the comments section.
Interesting New York Magazine article about male infidelity. Although I'm perplexed as to how Weiss doesn't include an exploration of male concern for the infidelity of women at some point, seems relevent.
The article does include this gem: ""Recent analyses of genetic databases reveal that fully 10 percent of people have different biological fathers from the men they name as their fathers." Wow.
Random thoughts:
Florida is a curious mix of strip malls, trailer parks, palm trees, and tourist destinations. There is nothing else.
There's more to people raising their sunglasses to see things more clearly than simply better vision.
I don't believe in opening mail because I think it deserves its privacy.
If only we could control-f our lives.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
The British: Funnier than US
I was getting a good chuckle at the first couple paragraphs of this article when I read the line "You're a public figure now, they would say." So I decided to look up who the author, Boris Johnson, is. It turns out Boris Johnson is the mayor of London and probably funnier than anyone Michael Bloomberg even knows.
It's really strange and oddly disconcerting that British pols are capable of such superior humor in public arenas that Americans.
It's really strange and oddly disconcerting that British pols are capable of such superior humor in public arenas that Americans.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Want to Know How Happy you are?
Ask yourself this question:
If you could fast forward parts of your existence with the results of that time being exactly the same as if you enacted that period in real time (ie. your work production would be the same) how much of your life would you fast forward?
That's the answer to how happy you are, and that's the answer to what you need to change in your life.
What Nobody Involved in Politics Will Say
There's been a great deal of talk lately about Clinton supporters, specifically white women, defecting to the McCain camp in the general election. This is a result of the disappointment that many Clinton supporters have felt from her failed candidacy. What nobody is willing to admit and what is crucial to the coming GE, is that a large proportion of women vote on emotion. Let us not presume that men do not vote for equally senseless reasons, such as what baseball team their candidate supports, but let us also admit that emotions play a bigger role in the female decision making process than the male.
If we follow that assumption we can understand that 1) many of the women who currently claim they will defect to the McCain camp are doing so out of frustration from the Democratic primaries and 2) when Obama smokes McCain in terms of likability and overall capacity for compassion in the forthcoming debates he will make huge inroads among this critical segment of the electorate.
Obviously it's controversial to discuss such a matter and I'm sure that some of the women who were reading this post have ceased well before reading this point but it's certainly worth consideration.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Lone Drinker VII
I haven't posted in a while due to a severe case of bloggers block but I'm home alone and sitting down to a magnum of wine and a chunk of cheese so lets kick back and kick off the gayest version of the Lone Drinker yet!
4:21: Glass #1. I have the Yankee game on mute and I'm watching the webcast of Meet the Press, this is not one of my cooler moments. I think that crack needs to be rebranded. A name change and a couple celebrity endorsements would go a long way to invigorating its consumer base. I propose "crevice" as a working name change. Crevice suggests a certain subtlety and sounds vaguely French. Additionally it's similar enough in meaning that we wont alienate our loyal consumers.
4:36: Glass #2. Tom Daschle is a very well practice political persona and that is all he is. He is not human. He is political persona.
4:38: I can't believe people buy into this lunacy.
4:42: Glass #3. Cigarette you very much.
5:07: Glass #4. Facebook is going to start running contextual ads based on imaging in profile pictures.
5:30: Congrats to the digger that found this page and I'll be sending in my resume to edit the UPI's website.
5:48: Two things: 1) If only we could control-f all of the elements of our life. 2) I don't believe in opening mail because I think it deserves its privacy.
6:00: Glass #5. Yankees lost, onto Smoking Gun Presents Worlds Dumbest Criminals 4 on truTV. I love the smoking gun but I've never heard of truTV. Hopefully I'm not as dumb as those they're about to highlight. I'm getting there.
6:04: This show is equally vapid and miraculously less entertaining than all of VH1's current programming schedule. Alcohol, do your thing...
6:09: Despite the presence of notorious douche bags Danny Bonaduce and Ron Kuby, this show is offensively bad. I'll give it one more commercial break.
6:25: I've read most of the articles nominated for 2008 National Magazine Awards recognition and really recommend Vanity Fair's City of Fear, one of the most compelling, most screen worthy examinations in journalism in the last 5 years. The New York Times Magazine's Where Boys Grow up to be Jihadis, and The New Yorker's Swingers. One article that is not, under any circumstances advisable is Everybody Sucks in New York magazine. The article is essentially a mainstream reporter denouncing the blogosphere due to her experiences with being exposed during her wedding and subsequent write-up in the NYT. The media business, and particularly print media, is not suffering solely from the flourishing of the internet. Far too much of modern media is directed at itself because far too many individuals in the media are wildly self-absorbed. I know because I went to journalism school and I'm in the media commenting on a magazine article about bloggers commenting on a newspaper piece on the author on my blog. This does not appeal to a large audience because nobody fucking cares about us.
7:12: Glass #7. Katie Couric on 60 Minutes feels like Walter Cronkite hosting an episode of TRL.
7:52: My lady friend returned home not long ago. She's makinv seafood gumbo in the kitchen. She's put the onions off to the side because she was devastated by their untimely demise. The tears flowed like water in a broken urinal.
7:58: Andy Rooney just complained about something.
8:08: Glass #8. I want to open up a bar based on the office work environment. Instead of booths there will be cubicles that can seat 3 or 4 people and instead of computer's there'll be televisions showing sport. The waitresses will all be dressed in sexy work attire and patrons will be able to call other cubicles to correspond (on work related matters). The receptionist's desk will be the bar and the CEOs office will be the VIP. Potential names include 9 to 5, The Office, The Grind and Monday's Off.
8:38: Holy crap the MTV Movie Awards are on tonight. This is the pinnacle of modern culture. May or may not return tonight.
4:21: Glass #1. I have the Yankee game on mute and I'm watching the webcast of Meet the Press, this is not one of my cooler moments. I think that crack needs to be rebranded. A name change and a couple celebrity endorsements would go a long way to invigorating its consumer base. I propose "crevice" as a working name change. Crevice suggests a certain subtlety and sounds vaguely French. Additionally it's similar enough in meaning that we wont alienate our loyal consumers.
4:36: Glass #2. Tom Daschle is a very well practice political persona and that is all he is. He is not human. He is political persona.
4:38: I can't believe people buy into this lunacy.
4:42: Glass #3. Cigarette you very much.
5:07: Glass #4. Facebook is going to start running contextual ads based on imaging in profile pictures.
5:30: Congrats to the digger that found this page and I'll be sending in my resume to edit the UPI's website.
5:48: Two things: 1) If only we could control-f all of the elements of our life. 2) I don't believe in opening mail because I think it deserves its privacy.
6:00: Glass #5. Yankees lost, onto Smoking Gun Presents Worlds Dumbest Criminals 4 on truTV. I love the smoking gun but I've never heard of truTV. Hopefully I'm not as dumb as those they're about to highlight. I'm getting there.
6:04: This show is equally vapid and miraculously less entertaining than all of VH1's current programming schedule. Alcohol, do your thing...
6:09: Despite the presence of notorious douche bags Danny Bonaduce and Ron Kuby, this show is offensively bad. I'll give it one more commercial break.
6:25: I've read most of the articles nominated for 2008 National Magazine Awards recognition and really recommend Vanity Fair's City of Fear, one of the most compelling, most screen worthy examinations in journalism in the last 5 years. The New York Times Magazine's Where Boys Grow up to be Jihadis, and The New Yorker's Swingers. One article that is not, under any circumstances advisable is Everybody Sucks in New York magazine. The article is essentially a mainstream reporter denouncing the blogosphere due to her experiences with being exposed during her wedding and subsequent write-up in the NYT. The media business, and particularly print media, is not suffering solely from the flourishing of the internet. Far too much of modern media is directed at itself because far too many individuals in the media are wildly self-absorbed. I know because I went to journalism school and I'm in the media commenting on a magazine article about bloggers commenting on a newspaper piece on the author on my blog. This does not appeal to a large audience because nobody fucking cares about us.
7:12: Glass #7. Katie Couric on 60 Minutes feels like Walter Cronkite hosting an episode of TRL.
7:52: My lady friend returned home not long ago. She's makinv seafood gumbo in the kitchen. She's put the onions off to the side because she was devastated by their untimely demise. The tears flowed like water in a broken urinal.
7:58: Andy Rooney just complained about something.
8:08: Glass #8. I want to open up a bar based on the office work environment. Instead of booths there will be cubicles that can seat 3 or 4 people and instead of computer's there'll be televisions showing sport. The waitresses will all be dressed in sexy work attire and patrons will be able to call other cubicles to correspond (on work related matters). The receptionist's desk will be the bar and the CEOs office will be the VIP. Potential names include 9 to 5, The Office, The Grind and Monday's Off.
8:38: Holy crap the MTV Movie Awards are on tonight. This is the pinnacle of modern culture. May or may not return tonight.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
One Show Recap
I'm blogging for the One Club at various events during their One Festival this week. Below is my latest post, future ones can be found here:
The Allen Room at Jazz at Lincoln Center was one of the best advertisements of the evening. With 50 foot high floor-to-ceiling windows looking out on Columbus Circle and a three piece jazz band sounding like they were performing at Carnegie Hall the evening’s cocktail hour started out very promisingly. Somewhere around 600 people made their way to The One Show last night for the most distinguished advertising awards in the biz – and to throw a few back, flirt a bit and eat some appropriately name jumbo shrimp.
The event was a collection of very talented, eclectically dressed people of seemingly all persuasions. Some of the attendees wore suits or ball gowns while others could just have easily been banging away on their Macs in a Brooklyn coffee shop.
For me it was an interesting (and first extensive) look into the advertising industry and an opportunity to collect business cards like I was having a raffle for a free lunch at the end of the evening.
“At One Show events the people who have come up want to help the people who are coming up,” said Phil Growick, the Managing Director at Jerry Fields Associates (A Company of The Howard, Sloan, Koller Group according to his business card).
And it really did seem like that. At one point I was talking with a guy (Greg Hahn from BBDO) who looked like a less mysterious version of Jack White just having a casual conversation and later he collected an award for the HBO Voyeur ads – the coolest of the night in one man’s estimation.
“It’s the best of the best,” Hahn said. “There’s a lot of inspiration here and you get to see the gold standard of the advertising industry.”
The awards themselves were hosted by Tom Papa who was funnier off the cuff than scripted. And the music played throughout the show was Vampire Weekend type, super hip, but not in a too-cool-for-school-kind-of-way stuff.
All in all a very cool show, and some of the better adverts I’ve seen this side of five or six Super Bowl’s ago.
Check back in tomorrow for a recap of the Student Awards Show.
The Allen Room at Jazz at Lincoln Center was one of the best advertisements of the evening. With 50 foot high floor-to-ceiling windows looking out on Columbus Circle and a three piece jazz band sounding like they were performing at Carnegie Hall the evening’s cocktail hour started out very promisingly. Somewhere around 600 people made their way to The One Show last night for the most distinguished advertising awards in the biz – and to throw a few back, flirt a bit and eat some appropriately name jumbo shrimp.
The event was a collection of very talented, eclectically dressed people of seemingly all persuasions. Some of the attendees wore suits or ball gowns while others could just have easily been banging away on their Macs in a Brooklyn coffee shop.
For me it was an interesting (and first extensive) look into the advertising industry and an opportunity to collect business cards like I was having a raffle for a free lunch at the end of the evening.
“At One Show events the people who have come up want to help the people who are coming up,” said Phil Growick, the Managing Director at Jerry Fields Associates (A Company of The Howard, Sloan, Koller Group according to his business card).
And it really did seem like that. At one point I was talking with a guy (Greg Hahn from BBDO) who looked like a less mysterious version of Jack White just having a casual conversation and later he collected an award for the HBO Voyeur ads – the coolest of the night in one man’s estimation.
“It’s the best of the best,” Hahn said. “There’s a lot of inspiration here and you get to see the gold standard of the advertising industry.”
The awards themselves were hosted by Tom Papa who was funnier off the cuff than scripted. And the music played throughout the show was Vampire Weekend type, super hip, but not in a too-cool-for-school-kind-of-way stuff.
All in all a very cool show, and some of the better adverts I’ve seen this side of five or six Super Bowl’s ago.
Check back in tomorrow for a recap of the Student Awards Show.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Jeopardy Savants
I've written before about the poor strategic decision making that is a rampant phenomenon among Jeopardy contestants.
Two particular instances occur over and over:
1) A contestant has his opponents more than doubled in money going into Final Jeopardy and thus cannot lose (unless he pulls a Clavin). He then bets everything he can minus one dollar to ensure victory. In real life would this guy (think typical Jeopardy contestant) really bet 4,5,6 thousand dollars on his ability to answer one question? There is a logical disconnect between game money and real money but game money is real money. In fact, this game plan only makes sense if the contestant is uniquely competent in the Final Jeopardy category, it happens far more frequently.
2) A contestant is ahead going into Final Jeopardy but has not doubled up her opponent. She then bets enough to beat her opponent by $1 (assuming her opponent bets everything he has). This strategy is designed to send home a known quantity (the opponent said contestant has already beaten) to be replaced on the following day by an unknown quantity (a different contestant). This strategy is also nonsensical. If a contestant has beaten her opponent through single and double Jeopardy she should welcome the opportunity to play him the following day.
Today's Jeopardy episode featured another interesting scenario peppered with misguided strategy. The returning champion (Contestant A) was awarded with both Daily Doubles in Double Jeopardy. Both times he bet unnecessarily large sums of money in an attempt to separate himself from his opponents. When Final Jeopardy rolled around he had about $15,500 and his two opponents had something like $12,400 (Contestant B) and $12,200 (Contestant C). The Final Jeopardy topic was Royalty Wives (or something like that), a seemingly difficult category. Now, Contestants B and C should certainly have realized that if Contestant A was going down it was not going to be as a result of under betting Final Jeopardy, if he was going to lose he was going to get the question wrong. Therefore Contestants B and C know that he's going to bet $9,301 or more (in fact he bet $9,400) and should factor it into their decisions. In the case of Contestant B the information regarding Contestant A isn't particularly informative. Contestant B still needs to protect her slim lead over Contestant C and thus must wager nearly all of her money (she wagered all of it), but this information to Contestant C is very instructive. Contestant C must realize that the only chance she has of victory is for A and B to get the question wrong, as such she must limit her wager to within the loss A would incur under the circumstances of a wrong answer (she must not end up with less than 15,500 - 9,301 - and technically she probably shouldn't bet anything).
It's strange that people who are smart enough to make it on Jeopardy are so miraculously stupid strategically.
On Friday I depart for a friend's bachelor party in New Orleans that happily and intentionally coincides with Jazz Fest. I will be taking copious notes and blogging about what is sure to be a monumentally dangerous trip. Keep an eye out for my best Hunter S. Thompson impression.
Two particular instances occur over and over:
1) A contestant has his opponents more than doubled in money going into Final Jeopardy and thus cannot lose (unless he pulls a Clavin). He then bets everything he can minus one dollar to ensure victory. In real life would this guy (think typical Jeopardy contestant) really bet 4,5,6 thousand dollars on his ability to answer one question? There is a logical disconnect between game money and real money but game money is real money. In fact, this game plan only makes sense if the contestant is uniquely competent in the Final Jeopardy category, it happens far more frequently.
2) A contestant is ahead going into Final Jeopardy but has not doubled up her opponent. She then bets enough to beat her opponent by $1 (assuming her opponent bets everything he has). This strategy is designed to send home a known quantity (the opponent said contestant has already beaten) to be replaced on the following day by an unknown quantity (a different contestant). This strategy is also nonsensical. If a contestant has beaten her opponent through single and double Jeopardy she should welcome the opportunity to play him the following day.
Today's Jeopardy episode featured another interesting scenario peppered with misguided strategy. The returning champion (Contestant A) was awarded with both Daily Doubles in Double Jeopardy. Both times he bet unnecessarily large sums of money in an attempt to separate himself from his opponents. When Final Jeopardy rolled around he had about $15,500 and his two opponents had something like $12,400 (Contestant B) and $12,200 (Contestant C). The Final Jeopardy topic was Royalty Wives (or something like that), a seemingly difficult category. Now, Contestants B and C should certainly have realized that if Contestant A was going down it was not going to be as a result of under betting Final Jeopardy, if he was going to lose he was going to get the question wrong. Therefore Contestants B and C know that he's going to bet $9,301 or more (in fact he bet $9,400) and should factor it into their decisions. In the case of Contestant B the information regarding Contestant A isn't particularly informative. Contestant B still needs to protect her slim lead over Contestant C and thus must wager nearly all of her money (she wagered all of it), but this information to Contestant C is very instructive. Contestant C must realize that the only chance she has of victory is for A and B to get the question wrong, as such she must limit her wager to within the loss A would incur under the circumstances of a wrong answer (she must not end up with less than 15,500 - 9,301 - and technically she probably shouldn't bet anything).
Anyway, as mentioned A bet 9,400, B bet 12,400, and C bet something like 9,000. All answered the question incorrectly and now A will return for another day.
It's strange that people who are smart enough to make it on Jeopardy are so miraculously stupid strategically.
On Friday I depart for a friend's bachelor party in New Orleans that happily and intentionally coincides with Jazz Fest. I will be taking copious notes and blogging about what is sure to be a monumentally dangerous trip. Keep an eye out for my best Hunter S. Thompson impression.
Friday, April 18, 2008
People are Strange
Hello and welcome to another addition of "Weird Shit People Search for on Google and End Up at This Blog." I've put an extra slathering of hair gel on to host today's event and I'm planning on inappropriately touching all the female contestants. Let's get started.
10. "Young Stiper": it's good to know there are retarded perverts out there.
9. "Commercial Mexican Dishware": As opposed to Indie Mexican Dishware?
8. "Excessively Jealous, Wife": big fan of the comma, gotta have the comma, (quick recommendation, Vampire Weekend has a song called Oxford Comma that I can't stop listening to, it's the new Young Folks)
7. "Child rape scene": it horrifies me that somebody is searching for this and even more so that they would end up at this blog (actually less so), wtf? Somebody call Chris Hansen.
6. "Living with a q-tube": I have no idea what this means.
5. "Wife sister areshole": Ditto number 6 (a search of areshole on google provides an interesting experience, I'm impressed that Urban Dictionary has the capability to be first on google with a term that "isn't defined yet but these are pretty close". Well done urban dictionary, well done. (btw, Urban Dictionary is defined thusly: A place formerly used to find out about slang, and now a place that teens with no life use as a burn book to whine about celebrities, their friends, etc., let out their sexual frustrations, show off their racist/sexist/homophobic/ anti-(insert religion here) opinions, troll, and babble about things they know nothing about.))
4. "My wife slept with the man blogspot": It may be time for marriage counseling.
3. "Gaysenator": is that one word or two?
2. "Wax replica of your private": I have to admit that one was me.
1. "Vintage Sunglass blogs": It'd be a lot cooler if this was.
10. "Young Stiper": it's good to know there are retarded perverts out there.
9. "Commercial Mexican Dishware": As opposed to Indie Mexican Dishware?
8. "Excessively Jealous, Wife": big fan of the comma, gotta have the comma, (quick recommendation, Vampire Weekend has a song called Oxford Comma that I can't stop listening to, it's the new Young Folks)
7. "Child rape scene": it horrifies me that somebody is searching for this and even more so that they would end up at this blog (actually less so), wtf? Somebody call Chris Hansen.
6. "Living with a q-tube": I have no idea what this means.
5. "Wife sister areshole": Ditto number 6 (a search of areshole on google provides an interesting experience, I'm impressed that Urban Dictionary has the capability to be first on google with a term that "isn't defined yet but these are pretty close". Well done urban dictionary, well done. (btw, Urban Dictionary is defined thusly: A place formerly used to find out about slang, and now a place that teens with no life use as a burn book to whine about celebrities, their friends, etc., let out their sexual frustrations, show off their racist/sexist/homophobic/ anti-(insert religion here) opinions, troll, and babble about things they know nothing about.))
4. "My wife slept with the man blogspot": It may be time for marriage counseling.
3. "Gaysenator": is that one word or two?
2. "Wax replica of your private": I have to admit that one was me.
1. "Vintage Sunglass blogs": It'd be a lot cooler if this was.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
