Wednesday, August 8, 2007

The Eight Stages of Job Hunting

8. Excitement about the possibility of a new career - the hunter is naive to the treacherous task that lies ahead. There is a sense of optimism about the future. 1-5 days

7. A feeling of superiority toward those already employed - the hunter is surprised by the lack of response he has received and considers how much better he could perform than those currently employed in the positions he desires. 5-8 days

6. Concern that the resume - attached - has a virus. day 9

5. Creeping feelings of self-doubt - the hunter starts to think maybe he isn't capable of answering phone calls and making photocopies. 10-17 days

4. Regretting every educational decision the hunter's ever made
- Johns Hopkins University Bachelor's Degree: $140,00
- Syracuse University Master's Degree: $36,000
- Not being able to attain employment: Priceless
17 - eternity days

3. Jealousy of the employed - the hunter never expected to look at a mailman and think, 'man, he's lucky,' this now happens every time he sees a mailman. 21-27 days

2. Feeling sorry for yourself - the hunter is devastated by a complete inability to attract potential employers. Feelings of sorrow envelop his thoughts. 27-30 days

1. Resignation - an acceptance of the hunter's utter unemployability and a willingness to look into other avenues of employment.

Interesting link: This New York Times article on a book entitled A Farewell to Alms is real interesting. The central premise of the book is that the industrial revolution in England occurred because middle-class values became the norm in society as a result of a greater degree of procreation amongst middle-class individuals. I once touched on a similar idea in my groundbreaking post Society be Getting Stupider. Be back tomorrow.

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