Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Martin Luther's got 95 Theses but a Bitch Aint One

What follows is the most accurate rendering I could put together of a series of thoughts I had this afternoon. The thoughts may or may not have been affected by the fact that I knew I was going to blog them. Feel free to make your own assumptions, true story:

3:24: Drudge - Republicans are mad gay, the Allen guy who was arrested for soliciting a man to allow Allen to service him, can't believe there is a market for allowing others to perform head, wish I were gay, I'm excellent at getting head, hair, hair product, taffy, jerry garcia, bob marley, boston, red sox, douches, feminine products I don't understand, curlers, shirley temple, work, wondering if the dumb girl at work is attractive, wondering if there is any such thing as non-subjective beauty, wondering if my girlfriend will be upset, concluding no, cigarette, stairs, marco, polo, polio, scooters, whatever those thing are that Gob rides in Arrested Development, keep wanting to call it a sidewalk, water, wine, alcohol, too early to start drinking? could make this part of lone drinker post, applesauce, apple fights in orchards with cousins, hayrides, youth, winter clothes, snowball fights, snowball, clerks, kevin smith, selma hayek, allanis morrisette, that fergie video spoof that was both amusing and disturbing but maybe not for the right reasons, going to set time limit, nother two minutes, time, high school clocks, click back click forward, ap biology, truncall, jewish, reubens, us open, federer, woods, forest, camping, dunes, sun, beech volleyball

3:51-3:57 - My roommate is really into Bravo and Project Runway was running on marathon when I got up this morning, she's since left but I've now turned it back on after turning it off when she left, fascinating show, I wonder if more people like it for serious reasons or humor reasons, I like it for humor, bruno, ali g, Ireland, flight of the conchords, new zealand, australia, surfing, my old bartending partner, the return of ProRun, delete, neighborhood, spelling, bee, the loss of the bee population

4:09 - one of the primary sources of humor on ProRun is how inept the contestants are in real-life, practical situations, it's really perfect, also funny is how ridiculously poor their personal styles are, every designer walks that fine line between 70 and 71

4:34 - Dowdy seems to be a fashionable critique word on ProRun, pedantic, pedestrian, the next customer that asks me how an item on our menu is get's the reply - pedestrian, I cannot currently conceive of doing something funnier than that, Owen Wilson, I can't believe he takes life seriously enough to attempt suicide, didn't see that one coming, Kate Hudson, I read in the paper today she left Wilson for Dax, the guy from punk'd, yikes that might be seriously depressing enough, I just referred to the New York Post as "the paper"

5:10 - Guinness, Dublin, Copenhagen, Carlsberg, Rules of Attraction, Dawson, Varsity Blues, Texas, Red, Jordan, 23, poker, fat people, the news story I saw today that charted the demographics of fat people, an awesome rant I once read entitled Fuck the South, my stay in charming (not sarcasm) Charleston, Sc, the overly sarcastic nature of our generation (sarcasm), dinnner, plans, shower, gone

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